Money Matters

While child support may be a hot topic, I figured I would give a shot at explaining how *some* Mother's see it. Notice how I didn't say all? That is because not all women are alike or see things the exact same way. We each have our own perspective based on our experiences. 

It seems as if you read about it on many stepparent support pages on Facebook; someone is either complaining about not receiving child support or their ex is not paying it. There is this stigma that Stepmothers have given Mothers. They claim that we (I use that loosely) deny our child's Father visitation or parenting time because we did not receive a child support payment. Let me just make ONE thing clear: IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY! I get that there are some bitter women in the world, just as there are bitter Men, but that does not give anyone the right to generalize all Mothers just because there is one bitter woman who uses her child against their Father.

Society tells us that we have to "hate" one another for various reasons. The biggest debate is child support and what is should or should not be spent on. We as parents know it is hard to financially raise a child on one income especially if the pay is minimum wage. That alone can be hard. Nowadays you are judged if you receive government assistance AND child support even if you are working part-time or full-time. Men get paid at a high percentage than women, and it has been that way for a long time. Nothing about that has changed yet we get judged solely on that because we are Mothers.

If a Dad was dependant on government assistance and child support, would he be judged the same as a Mother?

The real issues that many Stepmothers and Fathers have is where the money is being spent. Many of them assume the children are not well cared for while in the Mother's home because the kids go to Dad's house in "raggedy" clothes, as one Stepmom called them. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't send my children in their good clothes to Dad's especially if my child has a wardrobe over there. My child is fine going in play clothes and most of the time my child picks their outfits.

Here is an example of what child support covers and doesn't cover:

With that said, how many Mothers provide everything regardless if child support covers it? Making child support an issue is not the best choice especially if Dad and Stepmom are the ones making it a bigger deal on what that money is spent on. Unless there is a 50/50 court order and Dad pays for half of everything, the rest of y'all need to shut up and take a seat. Let Mom be a Mom and do what she feels is right with the child support money. You have no say on what she spends it on if you do not bother to see or take care of your responsibilities. And don't play the card, "well, she never takes care of the kids, kids never wanna go home, she is a horrible mother" because if that was the real truth, the Mother would not have any type of custody or visitation of her children.